An year in search of endorphins

This was quite an eventful year. Want a recap? Here you go…

Many of us visit crazy town at some point, and so have I. Getting out of it happens with time and it was no different with me. As the year went by it got even more crazier and by the time it was March shit hits the fan. I spilled over everything, and I was everywhere and nowhere. It looked dire as I couldn’t find my smile. April is when I decided to do something about it. While I had been active before in some form, mostly hiking or some kind of light workouts, I wanted to get into something that would completely exhaust me. I started with cross fit and the idea was simple; the harder I work, the more endorphins I get. And endorphins == happiness. Around this time was when I got introduced to climbing. It was engaging physically and mentally. I got completely hooked.

Beginning of May was when I started noticing changes. I went from not being able to do a pull up, to actually be able to do one. While this might be extremely common, the feeling I got when I was finally able to pull myself up was insane. It was amazing. And I wanted more of it.


after ‘Monster Mash’

Slowly I started doing more things. After climbing, it was yoga. I tried meditation, but my head was still too chaotic. But for some unknown reason I found yoga to be more relaxing and calming. So I kept at it. And then it was basket ball and dancing. And before you realize it was August. I’d say that’s when I hit my peak. I was able to do a single hand pull up (chin up?).

And then work happened. I stopped everything and as I tried to get back a few weeks later, a climbing injury pushed me to biking. While it was fun, it was short lived due to an accident. While I was trying to figure out what I could do with an injured wrist, a friend introduced me to lifting. I figured as long as I focused on right form, the wrist shouldn’t matter. One of my resolutions as I started the year was to be able to bench press my body weight. Least did I realize that I am too heavy. Nevertheless this was an opportunity to gain some progress, so I was in. I focused on only three things – squats, bench press and deadlifts. Once you get the hang of it, lifting is super fun. So much so that I would’ve forgotten about climbing and yoga if I didn’t completely suck at it. Unfortunately I had to stop this after a few weeks as my wrist started hurting again and the doctor asked me to not strain it for sometime. While I could handle my body weight with squats, the other two core movements are still a distant dream. So more to look forward to.

After this I tried running for like 2 days. I have never really been a runner, so ‘i’t went nowhere 😀 and the last couple of months has mostly been about eating. As I look back on this year it was pretty evident that whatever I did was to keep myself busy. From climbing, to yoga, basket ball, dancing, improv, lifting or biking in all of these things while I did care about progress, the goal was to exhaust myself physically and mentally by the end of the day. And doing these things helped me, to not ponder the past; to just be in the moment; because I wanted some endorphins and mainly because I wanted to come home and pass out. And over the these holidays I realized something important. I think I am okay not being exhausted anymore. Sitting at home, chilling and not doing anything. That stuff is not so bad.

A few more hours before the year ends and I want to say it out loud before that…Thank you :)! To family and friends and a few nice strangers. If you are reading this, you know who you are. For being there; for all the smiles and moments and for your strength. Thank you :). And here’s hoping to a new year with lots of happy stories. Cheers!